I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Enjoy the penises
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
