He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
