i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
how does that bad decision feel?
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