I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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