you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
