I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
