So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
