Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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