hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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