So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I will pee on everything he values.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
