i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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