He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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