Where is the hickey?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
