Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
