She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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