Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
