We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
