the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
