i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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