this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
