I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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