What did we do last night that was yellow?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize