It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
that may or may not have been my penis.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
