planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize