smell my finger.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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