I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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