We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
