thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
