Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
