thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
two words...techno handjob
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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