Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Randomize
