I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'd cum for enchiladas.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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