you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
