Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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