Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
