I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
