So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
