Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
