i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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