I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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