guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
