so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
