Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
