East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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