In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
