Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
