she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
