Kiss
Puke
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
