so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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