No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
