Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
