Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
