He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
