I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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