Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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