watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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