I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
