She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize