Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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