Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
