All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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