I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
