Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
