I skipped work to stalk him.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Bring me that man meat
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
