did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize