reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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