he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
