I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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