Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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