The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
