just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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