His pubic hair was longer than his dick
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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