So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
