She's JV to your varsity
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
